Yesterday I went to the gym on the way home for a run. The sky was blue in Mansfield but hubby said it was raining in Chesterfield… so treadmill It was.
Running, in the past, has been the only time I can totally zone out. Sometimes I ‘write’ whole blog posts in my head but then I get home… zilch… nada… all gone.
Sometimes, I try put the world to rights… get home… cannot for the life of me remember the plan… Its been like my meditation… I totally zone out and ALWAYS feel better for it.
On Sunday we learnt about breath, the mechanics, the physiology, the anatomy… I loved it!
We practised breathing… abdominal, thoracic and clavicular…
It was snowing… there was no way I could concentrate or still my mind.
We did the whole ‘ommmmm’ chanting thing… I don’t like chanting… at all… I would rather not, I don’t feel comfortable, I don’t like the vibration, I can’t explain it… thank goodness it was only for around 3 minutes… Sorry Dave 😉
So, the plan was to… yesterday, after my run, go into the yoga studio upstairs at the gym and practice some breathing all on my own…
Throughout my run, where I usually relax and DEstress, I stressed about GOING to relax… can you baaaalieve!
Anyhow I went up, stretched and thought I end off with just 10 minutes of breathing and relaxation… I couldn’t do it. I left. I just couldn’t do it. Stretch yes, but just sit and breathe? nah!
I did feel a little disappointed, but I know this is all new to me and I just have to keep trying. Fight the anxiety. Hopefully when we move and I have more space, home may feel a safer place to try.
Dave wants a ‘written’ journal… so I will keep up with this one too, as I prefer to write a blog. Besides 🙂 I can’t read my own handwriting…
Anything I add to my ‘written’ journal I will scan and add here.
Off to a work meeting in London tomorrow… I may take time out to draw in my written journal or do a bit of reading in my course book.
Sore butt cheek still… but much better than last week!